Forty: Between the Storm of Passion and the Stillness of a Growing Soul

I was barely living my passion anymore. What once felt like the perfect decision for my 40s—to leave behind everything that used to fire me up and live the rest of my life in quiet, slow peace—suddenly felt like peacefull in a weird ways. I gave up, and I stopped everything I was doing.

But then something struck me. Symptoms related to a mental disorder began to appear. I started losing memories, forgetting colleagues’ names, struggling to find words, losing focus, and so on. The storms I thought had long passed returned in brutal waves, pulling me into a series of treatments and sessions with a psychiatrist. All of this forced me to rethink everything.

It made me ask myself: what has really been happening to me?

During the treatment and medication, I began to see the whole story of my life more clearly—finding the meaning of myself, and understanding what has shaped me. Then I started to wonder: could this be a sign from God? Maybe my 40s are not what I imagined they would be.

Maybe life is meant to continue, not pause.

Maybe my desire for a slow, quiet life was simply a sign that I was exhausted.

And through all of this, perhaps God is waking me up—reminding me that I still have to walk forward and give meaning to my life.

What do you think?